I'm not sure what it is, but I find the whole concept, when explained by a lucid and accessible author, fascinating. And Dawkins is nothing if not lucid and accessible.
No wonder so many people are single. A few years ago, I spoke to a group of high-schoolers about the Jewish idea of love. I'll define it, and you raise your hands if you agree. Love is that feeling you get when you meet the right person. And I thought, Oy. This is how many people approach a relationship.
Consciously or unconsciously, they believe love is a sensation based on physical and emotional attraction that magically, spontaneously generates when Mr. And just as easily, it can spontaneously degenerate when the magic "just isn't there" anymore. You fall in love, and you can fall out of it.
The key word is passivity. Erich Fromm, in his famous treatise "The Art of Loving," noted the sad consequence of this misconception: Love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another's goodness.
Love is the result of appreciating another's goodness. The word "goodness" may surprise you. After all, most love stories don't feature a couple enraptured with each other's ethics. But in her study of real-life successful marriages The Good Marriage: How and Why Love LastsJudith Wallerstein reports that "the value these couples placed on the partner's moral qualities was an unexpected finding.
What we value most in ourselves, we value most in others.
God created us to see ourselves as good hence our need to either rationalize or regret our wrongdoings. So, too, we seek goodness in others. Nice looks, an engaging personality, intelligence, and talent all of which count for something may attract you, but goodness is what moves you to love.
You can create it. Just focus on the good in another person and everyone has some. If you can do this easily, you'll love easily.
I was once at an intimate concert in which the performer, a deeply spiritual person, gazed warmly at his audience and said, "I want you to know, I love you all. This man naturally saw the good in others, and our being there said enough about us that he could love us.
Judaism actually idealizes this universal, unconditional love.
Obviously, there's a huge distance from here to the far more profound, personal love developed over the years, especially in marriage. But seeing goodness is the beginning.
By focusing on the good, you can love almost anyone. Susan learned about this foundation of love after becoming engaged to David. When she called her parents to tell them the good news, they were elated. At the end of the conversation, her mother said, "Darling, I want you to know we love you, and we love David.
Actions Affect Feelings Now that you're feeling so warmly toward the entire human race, how can you deepen your love for someone?
The way God created us, actions affect our feelings most. For example, if you want to become more compassionate, thinking compassionate thoughts may be a start, but giving tzedaka charity will get you there.
While most people believe love leads to giving, the truth as Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler writes in his famous discourse on loving kindness is exactly the opposite: Giving leads to love. Neither is a father's forcing violin lessons on his son because he himself always dreamed of being a virtuoso.Essay Topics.
Area & Country Studies Essays (1, ) A Selfish Wish. A gentle breeze swept by playfully, ruffling my dark gray pelt. I could just barely make out the silhouettes of my fellow pack members.
My brother, Thor, was invisible in the black of the night. But right now, nothing mattered except for the adrenaline in the air.4/5(1). Selfish And Unselfish Actions As Personal Interest Philosophy Essay.
Print Reference this. Disclaimer: both do what they wish and they are both selfish. Therefore, it is the objective of an individual that brings about an act of selfishness.
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Published: Mon, 5 Dec Selfishness is an act of being self-centered and egotistical. Our essay contest winners wrote about not spending more time with a sister, a dad in prison and an online relationship.
- The Selfish Gene "We are survival machines—robot vehicles blindly programmed to preserve selfish molecules known as genes." -- Richard Dawkins, The Selfish Gene (1).
Can genes alone determine your DNA's place in the next generation. The Death of the Moth. Moths that fly by day are not properly to be called moths; they do not excite that pleasant sense of dark autumn nights and ivy-blossom which the commonest yellow-underwing asleep in the shadow of the curtain never fails to rouse in us.